Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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