I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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