is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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