just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
me + whiskey = a bad person
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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