Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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