are you still at the devil's house?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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