I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So much Jack, so little girl.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
