Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
