i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
