You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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