i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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