I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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