do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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