he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
