Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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