you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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