Sacagawea was the original milf.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
