Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
