I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
