Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
