I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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