did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
