Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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