I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
