you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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