I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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