Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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