wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
