Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
