Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
