dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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