Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
