we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
