He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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