I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
