Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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