and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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