you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
