someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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