Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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