who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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