I can tuck mytits in my pants
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
