what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
