I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
