I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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