if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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