I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize