I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
