Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
