what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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