those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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