hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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