so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
