the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
