god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
