You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
