he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
