never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
