he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
