Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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