Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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